a long realization

my safti passed away this thursday.
i normally dont post too personal of things.
but she is a big reason i moved to Israel three years ago- to take care of her.
i should have done a better job.


she loved me unconditionally and even though most of her nervousness and worried fashion usually made me laugh.
i am saddened that she is not with me anymore.
to
call and tell me not to go to the beach- because there is sun / waves.
not to date men because they are not good news.
to continue my office job because i get to wear heals- not too high of course.
to not get drunk- it is not lady like.

i will miss her having a crush of clint eastwood.
i will miss her speaking french / romanian/ and what ever other languages that i did not understand.
i will miss knocking on her door after climbing a billion stairs to her apartment and her saying "rega- me ze?"
as if she didn't know.


i will miss her telling me the latest gossip - that was months old.


i will miss her loving opera, ballet, and really old movies.



i will miss her kissing my hand.
i will miss her eating cake and drinking beer with me at 1 in the afternoon.


i will miss being tipsy with her when we had one too many.


i will miss her, huging her .
her loving to get manicures/her hair done.

i will miss her honesty and not living competly in reality.


she did teach me to dream a lot .
  iwill miss her independence.




i dont know how many of us are lucky enough to have unconditional love in our lives.

i dont really know if i deserved such a love.


but with safti seing her smile,
calling me her dolly

i really was lucky and blessed to have  her as my safti.
i was lucky for the childhood i had with her picking me up and going to mcdonalds, getting ice cream at dr leck. and
buying me the newest barbie.




i was lucky to have her love and have her in my life.
 and i loved her very much,
i am happy she is not suffering anymore.




lots of love,

michal