2-something post .?

I came back from the states last week. I was on a visit that lasted a month.  I wish that someone had written a manual about how to seperate from your friends and parents every  9 months.  It would be called something like 9 months of anxious israeli/american birth.  Or something not so weird.
In any case coming back is really really hard and I not only feel that I am emotionally not here but physically I have become sick. I came home on gimelim today ( the type of letter that allows you to leave your mission and come the hell home to not get everyone else sickly ).  I was throwing up and had shilsul.  Funny the American side of me didnt want to advertize that last part but oh well.  I think it was a mixture of being on my period, being jetlagged , and over heating.
    This job is physically and mentally taxing.  It is hard to move from base to base and be in the heat all day running from the firing line down to check the bullet markings and back. 
    It is almost like double as hard to come back to Israel this time around knowing what to expect.  The late night calls to your parents.  The playing skype phone calls with your friends, the missing everything while your friends go on with their lives and live in brooklyn or nyc or grad school.
     I guess my life is static for now.  not in a bad way just in a homesickness.
It is also weird because when I was in the states i felt like it was a visit.  i didnt feel like that was home. Here, Israel is home. 
I don't know what I would do without my Garin.  Having a deeper connections with many of my fellow lone sodliers that I live with than I have made over the years in America means something.  Also my amazing host family has been a constant source of support and lovingness.
Still I wish I could somehow merge the worlds in a way I could convince my best friends and parents to move here- if only for a little bit.  So that they can fall in love with this land and people as much as I did.  Every stupid rude Israeli, every cacti, every bad fashion statement, every bus that breaks down and never lets you get to where you want on time, every 1 pm Chummas lunch that you are sure would not have been approved by the nyc standards.  I love it all.  And now i've puked on most of that .

We are having someone from our Garin leave,
I am not going to state reasoning but just say that I willl miss him very much and it is also very hard to think of our family loosing someone.  I wish him the best and know he will amount to great things while he is in the states : )

It is time to go puke again and then go to bed,
Lots of hugs,
Michali