Thursday, October 17, 2013

REclaIming WOmanhood.

I was sorrowed to read an article posed on groupthink called "Being a woman in Public."  http://groupthink.jezebel.com/being-a-woman-in-public-1446742738/@laurabeck
It did not lack imagination and painted a scene quite well of a woman that is sitting on the train minding her own business.  She witnesses and altercation and then takes her place in the far side of the train where she prays to herself that a man will not come up to her, harass her, confront her, or speak to her.



"The person on the inside of your seat needs to get off. You hold your breath as you let them out and you move in, thinking of all the things you'll say and do when he tries to sit down next to you and talk to you when you just want to be left alone." 





This right here is the start of a very sad way of thinking.  First off, I am not saying that on the daily women are not harassed, bothered, started with , or provoked. It is a sad reality that we face of rape, sexual harassment and men who try to overpower women by stripping away their physical and mental rights. 

However, it is sad to me that this particular woman represents countless women who believe that they can not or would rather not stand up for them selves if a man was to approach them.

Maybe it is a very westernized way of privileged thinking. Maybe the moral compass that guides me is one which declarers that it is so IMPORTANT for women to come out of their shells and stand up for themselves. 



Another article stated : "

College Women: Stop Getting Drunk

It’s closely associated with sexual assault. And yet we’re reluctant to tell women to stop doing it."





so what have we gathered from this : Women- do not get drunk, do not go out in public, do not look a man in the eye and you are not free to be in a male dominated area. While it is not your fault if you are a "victim" you can prevent it by being super cautious and taking extra steps men do not have to. 


http://english.alarabiya.net/en/variety/2013/09/23/India-It-is-my-fault-rape-video-goes-viral-.html


The bottom line of this controversial but imperative video is that the sexual assault, rape and  harassment are presented as a satire of what is happening in India, other middle east countries like Iran. While we believe that the westernized globalized countries like the USA are immune from such acts we are very wrong if women are made uncomfortable in their own skin and post such things as "Being in a woman in public."




Spending two years in the Israeli Defense Force (I am not stating that this is a perfect institution by any means) has taught me the value of standing up for your abilities, doing your work, effecting soldiers' lives and doing it all in the way that presents a side of humility and womanhood.

Many instructor positions in the IDF are given to women.  There is an unsaid view point that young women have more patience and will explain things over to tired soldiers. In my personal experience this is true.  You have to prove yourself as a shooting instructor while standing in front of a group of 28 young , tired, dissatisfied , horny , and rowdy young men.  Not only do you have to wipe out their ego of thinking "I don't have to listen to you I am a combat soldier", but you also have to make peace with the fact that " I am a woman, I am teaching you what is historically thought of as a "male" oriented profession and you better shut your mouth and listen to me because you never know when you will actually need to shoot someone under the knee."


I am not saying this was such an easy task. I did receive the occasional eye roll and "ok sure, Motek (sweetheart)" but overall at the end of the week coming home most of my service with a gun on my shoulder I would proudly sit on the train with my head high.

I think if women learned to reclaim what is so amazing about womanhood- the endurance, the perseverance, the energy, the honor, the sisterhood bond, the compassion, and the dignity behind being a woman  they wouldn't fear any man. anything.
if that involves taking a self defense class so be it. if that involves looking your fear in the eye (be it a harasser or anything else) do it.
the point is. no one should ever make you feel insecure in your own skin. you should know that you belong to a strong cult of great thinkers, of strong amazing women and no one is going to get to you.
look them in the eye . you will not regret it . (also told from personal experience)

http://www.upworthy.com/watch-a-student-totally-nail-something-about-women-that-ive-been-trying-to-articulate-for-37-years-6?c=ufb1



These are just bits and pieces of things that I believe. I believe that we are all citizens of the world. I believe that what unifies humans is the opportunity they find to love, and how they overcome a loss.  I believe that women need to realize that rape is not an ok phenomenon.
That they do not have to put up with a wolf whistle, with a hand being raised to them, or an abusive spouse.


When a woman tells another woman in the bathroom "she is a slut. Did you see what she wears no wonder that guy made a pass at her and won't leave her alone."  that is not ok. stop slut shaming. that over there could be your sister, your friend, you.

you are entitled to act, to wear, to be whom ever you want to without the unwanted sexual advances of anyone. there shouldn't be a need for a Slut Walk.  A walk that happens regularly in an effort to bring media attention that women can and will wear what ever they so choose without being pray for someone else. We need to stop looking towards role models like Rhianna that taught the world the lesson of if you are beaten by a man , it is ok to take him back . it is not.

look towards great women

my great woman role model is my grandmother.
she passed away years ago and still I think of her for my important life decisions.



I have this one life to live and I want to live it with the pride and dignity of being a woman, helping others, men and women and knowing that I should not fear anyone.



Michal