... syria?

I stood in a 100 + people line today.  It was hot. people were angsty and sweaty and cursing and complaining.  I spoke to the soldier in front of me about the newest movie coming out and let a woman and her family go in front of me.
It wasn't to get into a Rhianna concert or to pick up the newest Twilight  book.
we were picking up gas masks.
and I waited at 5 pm for half an hour then they closed the doors and said they ran out.
Obama said he was bombing Syria today,
....
and then they would probably bomb us.
and I don't have a gas mask because I got there too late.
So I got an ice cream instead.
because it made me feel better then thinking about chemical warfare.

Lots of safe thoughts,
and love,
 michali

bus ride

You are now passing Katona. You are now passing Kiyrat Motskin. you are now passing Bethyl Hills you are now passing Acco. You wake up from a dazed sleep to find yourself on the bus, no the train, no the bus again. You fall asleep you pass White plains or was it Tel Aviv merkaz? In this sleep-deprived sleep that only soldiers seem to understand my two realities collide into one.  People ask me what I feel more like Israeli or American.  I know I am American here but i feel more at peace with that then being Israeli in America.  I woke up today on the bus as I passed cows and Arab villages and towns that all sound similar still closed for Shabbat. I remember that I would always call my Aba to come get me from the Brewster train station when I got to Katona.

 I wanted to so badly call him saying hey I got here come pick me up.  I guess thats the hardest point .  The little things .  Like missing your parents. Or the fact that you are unsure of when the next time you will see them or how you will make money or where you will live .  Or if your friends in the states still think of you, or have they all moved on.


I am bout to meet the future head on and its kind of a scary transition from being a soldier (that is still wickidly hard) into being a real person again.  I will have to pay rent and taxes and worry about work schedules and how buying that beer at teh bar means that I have to scrimp on groceries.  Not sure if I look foreward to that part of it.
In any case I will be sure I will update you all on what I  decide to do  .
ALl my love,
 Michali

Sometimes things don't work out

Most things in the army are not logical.
That is one thing in common most people can tell you that are serving.
I wanted to go to this course called Nativ.  It is a two month course where you learn about Judaism and Israeli History. I gave my officer plenty of notice and was guaranteed a place in the course. It would be a nice two month vacation from the real army and a really nice way to finish my service.  I got a call this week from my officer saying that I will not be attending the course due to a mix up.  She was apologetic but I blew up.

She said I was right and justified for feeling the way I do- but that doesn't help me at all.

I have endured a lot of emotional turnovers ...

but this is the most obnoxious.


I know it was a mistake to get my hopes up for this course but I work hard and expect them to see it.

The difference between the army and regular employment is that on sunday if you don't feel like coming in you can call a sick day. in the army that doesn't fly.
I am getting out in Oct 3. and right now it feels like years away. I am so frustrated.



I just wish something would work out and I knew what I would do in the future.



Frustration Nation-
Michali