ahhh its almost here . civilian life.

I am almost free. free to be a civilian. free to let others serve for awhile. free to find myself not in boots and not in the shooting range. and not with ear plugs in my ears while I shout orders of 7.4.2 fire!. I am almost free from having to make the bus/train every sunday before 6 am.  I am almost free from a terrible feeling of being shavuz saturday night and smelling like lead . I am almost free from having to eat bad food covered in oil and not having plates or utensils. free from having to make a plate out of a piece of bread and balance it on your boot filled with sand. I am almost free from having commanders yelling at me. I am almost free of people asking me why I came here . I am almost free from two of the hardest. most amazing. most fulfilling years of my life.


I can't believe it's almost here.
Michali

job please

I'm out of the army for a break and officially out Oct3. wow.

I am starting work as a waitress and next week I will be working on a ship in Ashdod as a random work thing my mother set up for me. 

I guess this week is a big week for me not because I am home alone kind of feeling but because it has given me time to think about what I want to do. 

I don't really want to be an art therapist. 

i am really not into psych. 

i want to make a difference . through my art. touch people. show my work to the world. leave my mark. i guess thats selfish because everyone wants to do that. but i have gotten really into it. 

ah i just want a job 

: (

michali

got it

ps for those of you who asked. I got a gas mask. yay. Happy and peaceful new year. let's hope we don't have to use them.
sending loving and good energy Into the world. going for a run
love ,
michali

almost done.... ahhhhhh

My friend Emily just asked me if my two years of service went by quickly.
This next week is my last week in the army.
I would have to say no. no they were the two longest, most challenging, difficult, intensive years I have ever been through . The IDF is no joke. It is not a place for weak people. I saw that first hand . It is a place I have cried in, worked my ass off for , given it my all, made friends, met amazing people. Including support and combat soldiers, been yelled at, been taunted, been made fun of for my english accent.
I wouldn't have changed these two past years for anything. They helped made me who I am today.  Today I stand so much stronger then I once was. I am more realistic, bolder, more confident, more Israeli, more supportive, less selfish, and take things less hard.
Most of the change that I underwent was a combination of the army itself and my role in my Garin.  I know I keep speaking about them but for two years these 19 other people were my brothers and sisters and helped me learn so much about myself.
From each person I took something different.  A big component in this learning process is my Roomie .  I learned how to take things easily, laugh a lot , and share more.  These were big problems for me .  I remember calling her before we met and being like " so how neat are you... yea me too.. uh" hahah
Others in my makeshift family impacted me more then they know and I now know that we are stuck together .
Jonah a guy in My garin left for Tel Aviv and Mattan left for the states.  Soon people will move out and try and find their own way through Israel. I took it hard at first.  But soon I thought about it in a more Israeli way


.... "hey another free place to crash ; ) " haha and that is what I learned in Israel.

Through running to shelters, being through Standing pillar, barely sleeping, and crying... a lot- I learned who I really am. And I'm pretty happy with that.



Hoping to visit the States In Nov/ Dec . keep you updated.
Love you,
Michali